Write in my blog? Or write my research paper? Guess what won out.

Ok, this research paper isn't even due for another couple of weeks, but I want to get a head start on it since I know that my last weeks here will be busy and I won't want to spend them writing an entire 10 page research paper. I'm sorry that I haven't been too good about posting on my blog as opposed to when I first came to Prague, but I've gotten busier, and every time that I want to sit down and write a post, I second-guess my topic and tell myself it's not that interesting anyways. Well, I've finally decided that since this blog is for me as much as it is for other readers, I shouldn't judge myself on whether or not something is interesting. I should just write it. The past couple of weeks have been fairly uneventful, as I've been working on homework, putting a lot of hours in at my internship, and planning what my Mom and I are going to do when she comes here (we're going to Berlin for several days while she's here, I'm so excited!!). As much as I want to go out and explore Prague more, the "new-ness" of it has worn off quite a bit, although I'm really excited to show my mom around the city =)

It's only 26 days until I leave Prague, and it feels unfaithful to say this, but I'm really looking forward to getting back to everyone. I MISS all of you guys back home! It's weird how you can track your feelings over the course of a semester, and how your thoughts and emotions shift from those early weeks, to settling in, to getting comfortable, then to getting antsy. I can definitely say that that has been the case for me! And as much as I love traveling all around, it's tiring to plan trip after trip, let me tell you! I'm spending a lot of time planning Brian's and my trip to the UK, because we're going to be couchsurfing while we're there, so I am contacting various hosts and trying to figure everything out. Don't get me wrong, though, this has been absolutely amazing. It's weird to think how long it might be before I'm back in Prague, because to be honest, as great as Europe has been, I want to visit other continents next before coming back here. I want to travel to China, India, South Africa, Australia, Japan, Egypt, and on and on! I'll be back Europe, don't you worry, I've just got a lot of other things to see too!

School has been, interesting. There has been more homework than when I started the semester, so in that regard, it feels a bit more normal to me (Is normal good in this case? I don't know haha). But this is all old news to both you guys and to me; it's all just part of the AAU experience! : P I have 4 weeks left of school and of my internship. My internship has been a really good learning experience for me, and last week, I went to an NGO market fair and worked at the Burma Center Prague booth with my colleagues. I had a really good conversation with a woman my age who spoke fabulous English, and she was interested to know how an American girl who knew zero Czech ended up at NGO market fair that was being held entirely in Czech. I explained to her that I was interning at BCP, and we chatted about the differences in attitudes towards volunteerism and humanitarian work in Eastern Europe versus the U.S. and Western Europe. I have talked about this topic to some length in my online posts for my internship course, but I never cease to learn new things every week at BCP about working in an intercultural workplace. It has taught me a lot!

I have to confess to all of you now that as hard as I have been trying since coming to Prague to stop being such a worrier (some of you might remember my earlier blog post about that), it's been an uphill battle. I guess I was hoping that this would be one of those things that I stopped doing and never dealt with again. Of course, I knew that couldn't actually happen, but one can always dream, right? Sometimes, I just want to step outside of myself and lecture ME. Tell me to stop thinking about what other people do, stop thinking about my faults and my missteps, stop comparing myself to anyone and everyone, and just ACCEPT myself. Easier said than done, of course. I know that I'm not the only one who deals with this, but it's funny how your brain can trick you into thinking that you're all alone in something and that you're failing while the rest of the world is blissfully happy. I want to tell that constant little feeling of anxiety inside of me to chill out and relax, but it's always bouncing around inside, telling me to do this and do that, go here and say this, write this and visit that. I know that that same feeling is also the one that always keeps driving me forward and keeps me motivated, but I think the problem comes in when it's the one that starts to control me, as opposed to me controlling it. I don't know if that makes any sense, but it's hard for me to explain...

Alright, I better get back to this paper!